“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:2 (NIV) I recently re-read the book Angel Unaware which was written by Dale Evans in the 1950’s. Dale Evans was a singer, actress, writer, speaker and cowgirl who was married to the cowboy singer/actor Roy Rogers. The book is about their daughter, Robin who was born with Down Syndrome. It is told from Robin’s point of view in heaven. Both of my parents loved to read and we were so thankful for the county bookmobile where we could check out books. It stopped at our country school during the school year and stopped in our farmyard in the summer. I think it came every 2 weeks. We would all place the books we had gotten on the kitchen table so Mom could count them and write the number of books on the calendar for when the bookmobile came the next time. Mom was short and after 6 children in 9 years she had bad varicose veins so she often sat on a stool in the kitchen while she worked. She would sit on that stool while she stirred our supper with one hand and held a book in her other hand. I would often ask her what she was reading. I remember her telling me about the book Angel Unaware. I wonder if that influenced me in our decision for Lisa to come into our home? I know we were influenced by the concern of over-population at that time so we had no qualms of accepting a child who was not born to us. Lisa is definitely the work of the Holy Spirit in giving us just the right child (as He did with all of our children) and in giving us a child who gave as much to us as we gave to her. Truly a miracle and a blessing. Lisa continues to struggle with her speech, comprehension and memory. She is content and pain free so we are happy with that. I’ve been in Van Hook for a week but will drive to Fargo tomorrow. I will go to Fargo every 7-10 days throughout the summer. She is so excited to see me or anyone else in the family. Visiting is sporadic for other family members as the facility is on lockdown off and on when a staff person tests positive for Covid. They continue to grant me compassionate visits for which I am thankful. I believe there are many people in our lives who are angels and they are not always recognizable. It’s easy to be friendly or hospitable to those who look like us or to those that we know. But Angels may come in all kinds of disguises. They may be dirty and messy and crude and they may have lessons to teach us and wisdom to impart. I concentrate really hard when Lisa and others with speech impediments talk because I don’t want to miss what they have to say. If you keep your eyes and ears open, there can be a lot of ministering done in a bar or other places where the lost and lonely hang out. Arden is very good at that kind of ministry. He is non-judgmental and loves to hear people’s stories. He has taught me to listen despite appearances or pre-conceived ideas of a person. I wish I had learned this years ago but I guess it’s better late than never! Thank you agai

n for all of the cards and gifts that you are sending to Lisa. She loves getting your mail and looking at the cards. God Bless You!!

PRECIOUS MEMORIES

PRECIOUS MEMORIES…….. I find that one of the hardest things to deal with as I grow older is regrets. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about regrets of when the kids were younger.  Why didn’t I let Steph take violin lessons and figure out where she could get them?  Why didn’t I stay and provide support to Erik when his friend died rather than going to that conference?  Why didn’t we teach our children more about managing money?  Why didn’t I expect Arden to help more?  Did our numerous foster children take away from the time and care for our other children?  Why did I spank Lisa when she wet the bed?  I know that I did the best with what I knew at the time and I would provide grace to others so why can’t I give it to myself and why am I still carrying all of these regrets?  In the light of day, those worries seem ridiculous and even a little funny but they were very real in the middle of the night.  My solution to those worries is to sing hymns of comfort to myself until I fall back asleep. A blessing for Lisa is that she seems to have little memory of the past so she has no regrets. I will show her pictures of her time in Noonan and Crosby and even before her stroke, she showed little recognition of her childhood. Twice, I’ve made her a book on Shutterfly that told of her childhood and she’s thrown the books away. She used to always say that Stanley was her hometown and since the stroke she seems to have little memory of either Van Hook or Stanley. Yesterday she asked about work so I reminded her of her stroke and that she can’t walk so she will probably never work again. Many days I am not sure if she knows who I am other than that nice lady who visits often. My wearing a mask and not wearing my glasses doesn’t help her to recognize me. We look at pictures and reminisce but she doesn’t seem to remember. Is this loss of memory from the dementia or the stroke? I guess it really doesn’t matter. Sometimes, I think that those memories are there but she just doesn’t have the words to ask about them or comment on them. My brother in law is fond of saying “It is what it is” and Lisa will often say “oh well”when I give her some news. The reality is the reason for the name of this blog: THERE’S NEVER BEEN A DAY LIKE THIS DAY TO ME THERE’S NEVER BEEN A DAY LIKE THIS DAY I SEE THERE’S NEVER BEEN A LIGHT THAT SHINES SO BRIGHT AS THIS DAY, THIS GLORIOUS DAY.

Helicopter Parenting

A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life constantly. Wikipedia Lisa has loved that I helped her with grocery shopping and other shopping. She even used to be able to write a grocery list and list of other things she wanted or needed. But when our shopping was done and groceries were put away, she couldn’t wait for me to leave! As a parent of a disabled adult child, it is hard not to “hover” as we know that they may not have the ability to make good decisions or may not be willing or able to ask for help. Recently our 12 year old granddaughter and some friends were at a hockey tournament in a neighboring city and were given permission to walk to a restaurant and have a meal by themselves. They were able to text their parents with questions and had a great sense of pride and satisfaction and maturity that their parents trusted them to go by themselves and that the experience was a good one. I was so proud of their parents for giving them that learning experience. Lisa learned many things in her independence. She learned how to call for a bus or taxi and how to ask others for help. There were also some scary things that happened. She became violently ill after eating hamburger that wasn’t cooked well enough. She also suffered 2nd degree burns on her legs when she fell asleep laying on the lawn while suntanning. Another time, staff forgot to pick her up at the bus station and she had to walk 2 miles to her apartment late at night. As parents, our biggest frustration was not that these things happened but that we weren’t informed about them until days or weeks later. We know life is risky and we wanted as much independence as possible for Lisa. We just wanted to know when these things happened so we could make sure there were safety protocols in place to prevent them from happening again. There have been a few times since her stroke, that I have sensed that Lisa wants me to leave after I’ve visited for a short while. Although it makes me a little sad, it also gives me a sense of peace as I prepare to go to our lake home which is 5 hours west of Fargo. Ever since her stroke, we’ve realized that I will just be making more trips to Fargo than I usually do in the summer. Steph and Kirsten will also visit more frequently and I am comfortable that staff know Lisa

and her routine now. I won’t be going for a few weeks so we both have time to adjust to the idea. Her emotions are up and down which is common with stroke victims. It was a fun Easter. She was tired and should sleep well tonight.