Helicopter Parenting

A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life constantly. Wikipedia Lisa has loved that I helped her with grocery shopping and other shopping. She even used to be able to write a grocery list and list of other things she wanted or needed. But when our shopping was done and groceries were put away, she couldn’t wait for me to leave! As a parent of a disabled adult child, it is hard not to “hover” as we know that they may not have the ability to make good decisions or may not be willing or able to ask for help. Recently our 12 year old granddaughter and some friends were at a hockey tournament in a neighboring city and were given permission to walk to a restaurant and have a meal by themselves. They were able to text their parents with questions and had a great sense of pride and satisfaction and maturity that their parents trusted them to go by themselves and that the experience was a good one. I was so proud of their parents for giving them that learning experience. Lisa learned many things in her independence. She learned how to call for a bus or taxi and how to ask others for help. There were also some scary things that happened. She became violently ill after eating hamburger that wasn’t cooked well enough. She also suffered 2nd degree burns on her legs when she fell asleep laying on the lawn while suntanning. Another time, staff forgot to pick her up at the bus station and she had to walk 2 miles to her apartment late at night. As parents, our biggest frustration was not that these things happened but that we weren’t informed about them until days or weeks later. We know life is risky and we wanted as much independence as possible for Lisa. We just wanted to know when these things happened so we could make sure there were safety protocols in place to prevent them from happening again. There have been a few times since her stroke, that I have sensed that Lisa wants me to leave after I’ve visited for a short while. Although it makes me a little sad, it also gives me a sense of peace as I prepare to go to our lake home which is 5 hours west of Fargo. Ever since her stroke, we’ve realized that I will just be making more trips to Fargo than I usually do in the summer. Steph and Kirsten will also visit more frequently and I am comfortable that staff know Lisa

and her routine now. I won’t be going for a few weeks so we both have time to adjust to the idea. Her emotions are up and down which is common with stroke victims. It was a fun Easter. She was tired and should sleep well tonight.